The holidays are an exciting yet stressful time for many college and graduate students.
Throughout the busy and stressful semester, students really look forward to the holiday break. However, by the time the break arrives, many students enter it at peak exhaustion and burn out. On top of that, the holidays are a time of giving and gatherings. The break is often filled with many obligations, placing students right back into a busy, stressful schedule. As a result, many hopes and aspirations for the break are halted or discarded, and students find themselves exhausted…again. So, they sleep and lounge around more, scroll on social media, read a book, or watch a show, but somehow, they’re still exhausted.
As a graduate student myself, I often started my holiday breaks feeling completely exhausted and ready for recovery. However, all of the extra sleep, lazy nights and self-care didn’t seem to help. I couldn’t understand how I felt well-rested and yet so drained. After recognizing this pattern, I took the initiative to get curious about these feelings, and these are the two conclusions I discovered:
- I did not fully understand my exhaustion and its root
- Because I did not fully understand my exhaustion, I did not know how to properly take care of myself
I realized my exhaustion stemmed from a lack of connection with my values, the very things that fill me with joy and peace. I did not need more sleep or rest. I needed to connect more with my values and prioritize that connection, especially during such a busy time. The mindless activities in which I engaged provided me a much-needed break, but they did not give back any energy. When I began to prioritize connection, I felt enriched, re-energized, and more like myself!
That said, exhaustion does not always mean you need to sleep or relax more. Sometimes, you can experience exhaustion due to a lack of connection with your values. Your values can vary widely, but the common denominator among them is their ability to give back to you and fill you with energy, hope, aspiration, peace, gratitude, stability, etc. During times of exhaustion, even after proper rest, get curious about that lingering feeling and ask yourself, “which of my values am I disconnected rom?”. Below is a list of common values and ideas on how to connect to them-
- Family and Friends
- Plan a meal
- Watch a movie
- Drop by for a visit
- Holiday gatherings
- Take a walk
- Take a trip
- Talk on the phone or send a text
- Reach out when you need support
- Significant Other
- Date nights
- Question cards (BestSelf Relationship Deck is a great resource!)
- Cook together
- Take a trip
- Movie night
- Take a walk
- Religion
- Individual prayer
- Group prayer
- Attend services
- Church groups
- Devotional books
- Scripture
- Music
- Nature
- Take a Walk
- Picnic
- Garden
- Hunt
- Fish
- Camp
- Open the windows in your car or house to let fresh air in
- Creativity
- Paint
- Read
- Write
- Draw
- Pottery
- Cook
- Bake
- House projects
- Philanthropy
- Organize or assist a toy drive
- Fundraisers
- Donations
- Cook or donate meals for others
- Visit with the community
- Personal Wellness
- Exercise you enjoy (weightlifting, yoga, Pilates, walking, dancing, biking, cardio, swimming, boxing, stretching, hiking, etc.)
- Meditation
- Prepare meals or snacks
- Journaling
- Gratitude lists
- Therapy
- Clean up your space
- Prioritize sleep
The holiday break provides a great opportunity to connect with your values, but the holidays are a very busy time, with many obligations. I encourage you to take a look at your plans over the break and for the holidays. Now, note how many of them provide or lack connection. If needed, plan more or prioritize events and activities that will help you feel more connected. While the holiday season is the season of giving, we rarely think about giving to ourselves. That said, this holiday season, I challenge you to gift yourself the very simple gift of connection. You deserve it!
Written by Janie Morgan, graduate student and administrative assistant